The Prodigal Son

A sinner to the core, I have traveled the valleys of sin, often feeling that I am seeking my God, but not realizing that instead of seeking I was judging HIM, pointing out HIS flaws in this creation and until I was convinced of everything I was not completely sure that HE was the answer. Until HE provided me with the answers to my life, I hypocritically went on to sin, always knowing that I was in sin, not that it was accidental – I worshiped in the wrong places, slept in the wrong beds and sought solace in people – often the wrong ones, instead of seeking it in my God. I turned a blind eye to the sacrifices HE had made for me, the biggest of all being the fact that HE had died for me.

I have never been an atheist, ever!!! What I have been though is a seeker. I have sought answers and evidence, but on my terms, on my times lines and on my mere mortal level. I realize now that I was expecting someone great, beautiful and most merciful to stoop down to my level and come to the table then. I took pride in being a humanitarian rather than a worshipper of a God that could not fix the mess the world was in.

One fine day, something went wrong in my life  and I bowed and begged ALL of the perceptions of a merciful God that I had. I cried in pain, I cried in pain yet again. I cried seeking mercy but honestly nobody heard my plea. Then on July 14th 2011, I woke up and I am not ashamed to state here, that I woke up desperate willing to resort to anyone and anything – except Satan. I picked up the phone and called a very dear friend Subi Samuel and asked him to just listen to what I had to say and be a witness to what I was going to say. That morning, my life took a turn and I took an oath, I took a commitment to proclaim nobody else but my living God, the son of the heavenly father who died on the cross for me. I asked to be forgiven for my past, for turning my back on HIM. From that day I have not known fear – for the first time in my life!!!

I am the prodigal son, who came back home and got welcomed with open arms by the Father, whose lavish feast has been the to fill my soul with HIS love and who dressed me with the finest of silk robes – HIS everlasting hug.